El

que se enoja pierde.

Atlantis

There's a humongous disconnect between actions, words, and who one really is. While it's easy to use the right words and do the what's 'noble', reasoning is what I see as important, and consistency in who you claim to be and who you really are.

Whether you're protesting a gas station, arguing socialist theories with big words and obscure ideas, or working for a non-profit (any, any, as long as it's not making profit right?!), I'd be interested in your reasoning behind all of this and marvel at the discontinuity often found.

While it's obviously not my place to judge, I appreciate consistency in a person; it gives me a more accurate insight to who they really are. I've met so many self-proclaimers and tricksters, claiming glory and self-righteousness on the basis of good for mankind. Why, though? Thoughts regarding The Fountainhead swim through my mind as I wonder why anyone does the good that they do. Would you go through life doing 'good' deeds if no one ever knew it was you? If no one acknowledged you, praised you, stared at you in awe as you somberly told them that you work for no money, that you pass no judgment, that you believe in fairness and equality and this that and everything else 'good'?

Down to business-- the disconnect.

I'm amazed at those who argue for the greater good; those who advocate for human rights, protest the man, fight for the underdog, and beg for more compassion for our brothers and sisters of the world... then turn around and treat their neighbors with such negativity and disrespect that it makes me wonder if they even understand what they're arguing for.

I have been told that the only people who intentionally cause suffering are those who are suffering themselves. I try to make decisions in my life that would spare me from hurting another human being, and am shocked when I see that this isn't the case for everyone. Why one would want to be the cause of hurt is a sickening mystery to me.

Know yourself and know your reasons. Help for the sake of helping; we are all connected on this planet and each person I encounter in life deserves just as much respect as the next. I do not help for self-gratification and I do not care if anyone thanks me or praises me for what I have done, but I do hope to alleviate some suffering in this world and make my impact and time here as positive as possible.

Down to business-- honesty.

I want honesty. Be who you are and I would love to be around you. Who is 'you'? Bad writing and no one in particular. The connection between actions, words, and reasoning always intrigues me and I watch with a close eye for those honest souls who want to do good just for the sake of good, those who aren't wrapped up in the hype of a trend or the glory of becoming the savior. Be who you are, a humble, mistake-making, constantly learning student of life, and take me with you so that we may grow together not in something distorted or convoluted, but in something clear, simple, and true.

I find a fatal flaw in the logic

There's a part of me that always wants to hold on to what's lost long after everyone else has forgotten about it. Old enough to know better, still too young to care. Or young enough to care too much.
People are seasons, and the more I forcefully try to hold on to them, the more they slip away. That's the beauty of it.

October

October is promising to simultaneously be the most stressful and epic month of the entire year.

The weeks leading up to November 2 will kill me if they haven't started to already. I'll look forward to the finish line and the end of the elections, hopefully with Prop 23 nowhere in sight. My distaste for public speaking makes announcements and class raps painful. I'm going to give myself an ulcer.

On the plus side where the grass is greener, I'm going to spend a glorious weekend adventuring around Santa Cruz, San Francisco, and Berkeley with an Arcade Fire concert to top it all off. My life will be complete.

Back to the not-so-fun sector, I'm an exec in 3 busy, busy organizations... sleep eludes me. Once again, I spread myself too thin. I'm either doing too much or not enough, but it's a fine line in my mind.

On the plus side again, my birthday is on October 6. This means two birthday parties the following Saturday: one with mommy (<3) and one Woodstock-summer-of-love-themed one with friends. I'm looking forward to good food, amazing costumes, and an epic dance sesh.

Sadly, I have yet to find a date.

Yet the good in that is that I'm still a free bird.

I have Wednesdays off from work.

But have no time to watch Modern Family

I met a bunch of fun Europeans last weekend.

But my subtle, awkward humor's lost in translation.

There are tons of amazing enviro-events coming up.

But I don't know how to be in 2 places at once.


It's a complicated and silly life I lead, a complicated and silly life indeed.

If you're going to San Francisco, be sure to wear some flowers in your hair

Last week I was introduced to Craigslist rideshares by Holla. All sketchiness aside, it's opened up a whole world of cheap travel me, which is exciting.
The shady details and lack of organization are comical and my mother wouldn't be proud of me for them, but I loved it.
Our ride to San Francisco was a nice man named Arturo from Mexico. Convo recap of Thursday, AKA Day of Takeoff--
Holly: Our ride's going to pick me up first, then you, then Jared.
Lilia: Cool. Where's he at?
Holly: Uh... crossing the Mexican border. Murrrr

Interestingly enough, I didn't even realize this was odd until a few hours later, a little past LA. We sang every catchy Beatles, Bob Dylan, Queen, and Spice Girls song on the way up and got dropped off at a train station near The City on a gorgeous August day.



Jared's amazingly sweet mother picked us up and we ate at a rad organic Mexican food restaurant called Gracias Madre in the Mission District (kudos Jared). We spent the night at his fam's place where we found an epically clear patch of sky to watch the Perseid meteor shower, then left for the CSSC leadership retreat in Napa.

Once there among all of those positive and inspirational people, we shared ideas and discussed strategies to educate our fellow students about Prop 23 and the negative impact it would have on California's economy/move toward clean energy.
More in a nutshell: great organic and vegan food, learning, connecting with each other, Power Vote ed from Holly/Zen/Pam, laughter, more watching of the Perseids, random accidental trespassing into a toxic wasteland, the Hokey Pokey, puzzles, sharing of feelings, rapping, apple crumble, henna, and gittin hyphy. As usual.











After all the haze and beauty of it, the San Diego Crew still had no ride home and no prospects after plan A and B failed. I got in Pam's car which was going to SLO, hoped for the best, avoided dwelling on the fact that I had next to no money, and tried to shimmy my way as far south as possible. A little past Napa and a couple more failed attempts at finding a ride later, we found a spot in another Craigslist car, celebrated with some E-40 to be festive as we drove through the Bay, and I got my ass on the Bart to Union City Station to meet my ride, beezy.

Hours later, I took the wheel from my tired driver, waited until she fell asleep, then gunned that shit from LA to SD in about an hour and a half. Surprisingly, I still saw the remnants of the Perseids even through the lights and clouds, and it served as a lovely reminder of the nights which had passed. After getting to my house and hopping out of the car slash into bed to gear up for an 11-hr work shift, I realized that I essentially hitchhiked my way up and down the California coast for fifty bucks. As sketch as the details might sound at first, and as little sleep as I had, I honestly can't wait to do it again.

The weekend brought my attention to the constant flow of life and the beautiful way in which it resists control only to lead me to something better than I could ever initially imagine. I can't wait to learn and educate more about Power Vote, Prop 23, and refreshingly unreliable yet cheap travel.

Love

Ella le habla a mi alma.
She's my absolute favorite.

"Don't believe our culture. Our culture is screwed."

It's nothing to live one's life by.