New

What keeps life interesting for me is its impermanence, and that it's ever-changing. More rambling and musings...

(I will never completely know something inside and out, and especially not any person. The optimist in me immediately searches for the best qualities in people, and I magnify them; my shock at finding any traits in a person that genuinely interest me at all gives me tunnel vision. I think I've got people figured out and decide I want to know them for real. And then flaws and the truth and reality comes crashing down and I remember that things are never as sparkly and dreamy as they seem to me at first.

This initial let down that I've caused myself can be disappointing, and the contrast between my hazy could-be world and the reality of the what-actually-is world is enough to make me lose interest completely.

However, I need to stop contradicting myself because things aren't so black and white. As much as I'm proven wrong about people in a negative way, I can be proven wrong about them in a positive way. Maybe they're not who I think they are; maybe they're better.)

With all that in mind, I still can't help it...
I like novelty. When something's different and new and the possibilities of who someone might be are endless. They might be who I want. What if? We could totally swap stories, share books, make bad jokes, say things that don't make sense and laugh like they do, laugh more when we realize that they don't, play in the grass, have a good time, and listen to Pinkerton together.

So I grab onto this feeling and hope for the best, and then a month later when it's old... sigh. On to the next one.